At the start of the year, my resolution was to be the biggest pain in the ass that I could be. Now that sounds odd but let me explain why.
For as long as I could remember, I’ve had to deal with people who are rude or mean and I’m expected to be the bigger person. I’m supposed to just let them say what they want to me and it’s okay.
I can’t stand having people tell me how they think I should live my life since for most of my life I’ve had family doing that for me. So when people come around being like “you should do xyz” it upsets me. Here’s the thing though- it’s never to help me.
Take for example my uncle who’s helped me set up my blog. His words were “you should get a domain”. Why did I listen to him? Because he spoke to me like an adult and never forced me to get a domain. There was no “you should get a domain because no one would take you seriously as a blogger” (which is true but I know certain people who would say that in a totally condescending way).
All this is to say that I don’t do well with people telling me what to do when they’re using a condescending tone. I generally don’t do well with people telling me what to do but the condescending tone just worsens it. Anyone on one such occasion when someone decided to be both mean to me and tell me what to do, I snapped.
Sure it wasn’t that person’s fault (though God knows I was furious) that they were unable to articulate themselves in a polite, non-condescending way or that I was now fed up of people telling me what to do(I’m turning 21- Can I not make my own decisions?).
But my response to that person’s rudeness was that I simply walked out the room whenever they entered it and I refused to speak to them for weeks.
Except here’s the thing, while my family supported me in my anger with that person which made me feel better, I would go home every night and cry.
I felt horrible for treating someone like that. It was just so cruel.
And yet this is someone who had always picked on me over and over again. In my mind I thought they deserved my anger. They also didn’t know I was angry or if they did, they didn’t care. But it didn’t stop me from feeling like shit.
So I caved. Out of the blue I made a comment one day to the person. I remember reading somewhere that you can’t control how someone treats you but you can control how you react.
Sure I had family that agreed that my feelings were justified and that made me feel better. But being rude and petty didn’t sit well with me.
Yes I would love to be an ass to everyone who is an ass to me. But I can’t.
Honestly I don’t even know how they do it. I tried for one day to get back at someone and all I accomplished was making myself cry. I have no idea how people like that sleep at night.
How do you deal with people who are rude for no reason?