Reasons Why I Don’t Have a Boyfriend (as told by my family)

As I crawl through the torture chamber that is my third year of college, my poor family members have to make themselves content with the fact that I still don’t have a boyfriend. Now while I cannot understand why I need a boyfriend (because yes I’ve been told that I “need to get a boyfriend”- they weren’t selling any when I went grocery shopping the other day), the reasons people come up with for me not having a boyfriend is hilarious. I’ve compiled this list of the reasons (according to my family) why I don’t have a boyfriend.

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1) Because I don’t wear shorts- because legs are an important part of a relationship (are they? I really don’t know and that line put waay too much dirty thoughts in my mind)

2) I read too much- I’m sorry but I really don’t see how this is a problem. Now leave me alone, I’m on the third Harry Potter book.

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3) I don’t leave the house enough- hey if a guy wants to date me, he’s going to have to find me first. I’m not looking to date. I’m looking to finish my Harry Potter Series. In my house.

4) I don’t dress up enough- now this is just silly. I’m wearing pjs in the house and if we’re leaving the house I need to be comfy since I’m either driving or napping.

5) I’m too shy- I’m only shy if I don’t know you #sorrynotsorry
Red Riding Hood spoke to a stranger and look where that got her.

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6) I have a temper- how does any potential boyfriend know that? Also I don’t have a temper -I have a low tolerance for stupidity.

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7) I’m too arrogant- According to Google arrogant means: “having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities”. I’m sorry I think I’m amazing. I thought that loving yourself was a good thing. All the internet posts lie!

8) I’m sarcastic- again I don’t see how this is a problem.

9) I keep my feelings to myself- who am I supposed to keep them with? Also I totally share my feelings. Have you seen my social media? And if you’re a close friend then you probably know 99.9% of the time what’s going on in my mind, in my life, in my family, on my road, etc.

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