Ah yes, rage-applying. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the year 20xy (I am not specifying the year because I am very public with my life and you can easily investigate where I worked) and I had an absolutely horrible team leader.
She was incompetent. She was rude. She shouted at the staff and made them cry. But the head of the department had chosen her for the role of team leader (despite her lack of experience) and now she was my problem.
My former manager- the team leader’s direct manager- noticed a change in me and asked me about it. I explained to her what was going on. She was sympathetic…to a point. And then she told me that my team leader was my team leader and my options were either to support her or leave.
I was still relatively young in my career so the first thing I did was cry. I couldn’t believe that it was okay that our team leader was an awful human simply because she had the right connections. EVERYONE could see her making the staff cry and no one cared? She wasn’t even good at her job!
But nonetheless, I knew what I had to do. I had to get out. There was clearly no place for me in this department.
Desperate and full of hurt and anger, I started applying to every job that came my way. And that was when my life changed.
I was called for Marketing roles, Copywriter roles, Recruitment roles and even a really memorable Teaching Administrator role (it was clear that the guy had no intention of hiring me but their campus looked amazing). It was a major confidence boost. Although I wasn’t getting the jobs, I loved that so many amazing companies considered me. It was then that I began to think about what I called “My Exit Plan”.
I had always loved the idea of working in Marketing. Marketing was the only subject that made me feel the same way I felt for writing.
So I decided to try a Marketing short course to see if that spark was still there. It was.
And that was how I found my way into Marketing. Kinda. Well it’s a bit more than that but rage-applying was the first step.
So if you feel like you need to rage-apply for all the jobs. Go for it. You never know where you might end up.
Was it only 5 months ago that I did one of these posts and mentioned how burnt out I was? (Yes, yes it was). Well quick recap for the new year.
Eventually I got a new job that was better aligned to my long-term career goals (boy does that sentence sound stuffy. Nothing in my entire life prepared me for having to explain my new role as a content writer. Which is why I still haven’t explained it to many people. I just pretend like nothing has happened. If you know me personally and you’ve read this post, please keep it to yourself).
Anyway, I was two days into my new job when I realized that I might be part of the problem. I had trouble taking breaks and disconnecting from work. I had automatically assumed that with a new job I would have better balance. And I did. I just didn’t know how to handle it. The role was remote so why shouldn’t I be available 24/7?
About two weeks into the new job, I realized I didn’t feel too good. I was still tired all the time, my chest hurt and I had trouble breathing. I passed this off as anxiety. Eventually my dad caught a cold and by then I thought maybe I had covid.
Fast forward to 27th December-aka the public holiday our President so kindly granted us- and I had a weird pins and needle sensation in my feet that wouldn’t go away. I didn’t know how to describe it but I knew it felt wrong. Desperate for help, I begged my parents to take me to the emergency room. I say “begged” because I could tell my mother didn’t think this was a big enough issue (I mean 3 ear infections in one year and I get why she didn’t believe me but it still hurt).
We went to the ER and two hours later I had my answer. I was anemic. I cannot explain to you the level of disappointment I had (and still have) in my body.
It’s been two weeks and I finally feel a little more normal. My GP says my iron levels are not low enough for me to be suffering with light-headedness, fatigue and tingly feet. However today is my first normal day in a long while and I have been consuming tons of iron (far more than I should have).
All this is to say I am not so sure what burnout is anymore. The first time I thought I was burnt out, I had covid. The second time, I’m thinking was the anemia.
How am I actually going to know when burnout really hits?
Show your interest in the role by ensuring you ask atleast two of these questions.
Need more help? Let me know below. I am one of those weird people who absolutely love interview prep (or am I the only person who loves interview prep?)
I haven’t been blogging as regularly as I should. I started a new job and there was a health scare (getting older is not fun. Everything is an issue. I went to the doc for an ear infection and came back with a 24-hour blood pressure machine). I’ve also been feeling a little burned out.
So I did the responsible thing and booked time off work. I go on leave this week Friday and I cannot wait. Of course in typical me fashion I already planned a list of things to do, books to read, shows/movies to watch and I’m really excited to get started.
The idea is basically to immerse myself in all the fictional worlds in an attempt to escape the real world. I’m also hoping once this is done, I’ll have tons of blog content. Wish me luck
In the Summer of 2017 (more specifically, December 2017- a truly magical time in my life), my manager told me about how her manager had spoken to them about how the business set goals for each quarter. Her manager had remarked that it was such a great idea and he thought that the staff should do that too.
I would later go on to practice that method for years, dividing the year into quarters and then setting goals (personal, professional, financial and study goals) throughout the year.
For 2022, I didn’t have any goals. Due to a professional setback, I had decided to step away from my “work, work, work, study, study, study” routine and focus on my health.
Atleast the idea was that for the first quarter, I would focus on my health. But things did not go as expected.
Sure I lost 3KG and the only studying I did was one Hubspot course in Email Marketing. But besides from that my source of stress was still work. Specifically money.
The company that my dad worked at was placed on short-time, my dad was having issues with his heart and I was supposed to still be maintaining a healthy lifestyle because I had graduated from being insulin-resistant to being pre-diabetic (Go me! I guess there was one thing I was excelling at. Food. I was excelling at food). If you’ve been here for a while, you might remember that this is almost exactly like The Horrors of 2019
And then… the department manager told me these very simple words that caused me to melt down. “We’re working on your contract.”
So…some context. In December 2021, the internship contracts were supposed to end but because of some issues the interns were not offered permanent roles. They were given new titles which would be looked at in March. So it should have been an exciting time. How long have I been working and waiting for a role in Marketing? FOREVER! Sure, the manager telling me that it was close to becoming a reality made me slightly ill but that was fine, right? Everyone gets a little nervous.
Except I went home and got violently ill. I threw up everything I ate that day (and was morbidly fascinated by the fact that omg I can projectile vomit wow. Also why didn’t the carrots from my lunch digest completely? Is this why the doctors kept pushing me to eat veggies? Did they come out of me like that always and I just didn’t know? Honestly you would be surprised at the things one thinks of when one is bent over a sink trying to hold oneself upright and not fall face-first into undigested carrots)
I was mildly concerned but was still not going to pursue the issue. Until I realized the next day, I had an abscess the size of a golf ball on my arm. I was horrified. What was going on?
Again, I ignored it. I, champion of the “Listen to Your Body” squad ignored my body. My psoriasis flared up. I started having trouble sleeping. And then the department manager asked me my salary. I gave it to her. But it was then that I knew. I couldn’t do this. My entire body protested at the thought. My stomach gave a lurch that made me wonder if I was going to throw up at work and if so, how would I explain it? No, I’m sorry I just get sick whenever you mention my future job?
Desperate for answers, I went externally. This is a very important life lesson. Have a support system that 1) knows you personally 2) knows you professionally and 3) is calm, rational and non-judging.
I knew that I didn’t want to raise any eyebrows so I sat down with my former manager and explained my issues. She agreed that it might not be a good idea for me to run towards the thing that was making me sick.
I decided to get a second opinion from someone who I didn’t know as well but who seemed level-headed and of sound advice. All this confirmed was what I already knew.
I was devastated and I cried non-stop. I didn’t work for three years to behave like this. What was wrong with me???
But that day, I slept throughout the night without an issue, the abscess had deceased significantly by the next morning and my psoriasis flare-up was paler. I felt lighter and happier. I hated it but I had made the right choice.
At some point I need to figure out what it is I need to do and it terrifies me. I feel like there’s a big gaping hole where my future should be. But I also feel like I need to take the time to heal my mental health. There’s been a lot of things going on behind the scenes that’s been affecting me too so it is important to me that I take the time needed to process.
I was going to start blogging again (those words sound fake even to me) but somehow time seemed to always get away from me.
Today was our Secret Santa at work and I got a really cute Harry Potter notebook. See pic below.
So I was minding my own business, flipping through this notebook when our Social Media Manager mentioned to me that this book would be excellent for me to start writing again. Firstly I hadn’t even thought of writing in this book. But then she said “it’s been over a year since your last post.”
I didn’t know how she knew that (but she was a little creepy like that when it came to our social media accounts) but I was stunned to realize she was right. It had been a year (possibly more) since I last created blog content.
So I know this isn’t actually proper content and is just a “I’m back” post but I’m back. I’m going to start posting more regularly. I’m done with my studies for a while so I really feel like I can commit to blogging again.
Hello again! It’s me, the inconsistent blogger (anyone else think that’s a great name of a blog? Just me? Okay then).
I know it has been a while since I posted but work has been consuming and I have been processing everything in the world. As you can see, I’m a slow processor.
Working in Marketing has been great. I ‘ve learnt so much. I’ve also learnt how much I DON’T KNOW and honestly that scares me. When not learning about Marketing from online courses during the week, my afternoons and weekends are spent reading online articles on Marketing.
It’s kinda like I’m in that lovey, dovey, don’t want to do anything but be with Marketing phase (when you consider how long I have waited for a Marketing job, it makes sense that I’m kinda obsessed with it).
That being said, however. I am aware that this is an incredibly unhealthy way to live and thus, I will be making changes to my life. I have been really lucky in that my team really values work-life balance and kinda stresses on it sometime.
So I have slowly but surely started getting back into the grove of my old habits such as Netflix and reading. I think it’s been three weeks since I started reading again and while I want things to go back to the way they were, I know it’s gonna take time to fall into a rhythm.
So moving forward I will no longer be posting weekly. I will try to have new blog posts up every two weeks but you can find me on Twitter and Insta, stalking pictures of puppies, planners and lots of books.
I’m also going to try and include more content that isn’t just book-related. I feel like book blogging seems a bit trival during a pandemic. But also. books= escape.
So normally I get really excited for NaNoWriMo. A month dedicated to writing? No pressure? Yes please.
And I was excited way back when I was planning out my study schedule and pushing to finish before November began.
But now that it’s here I have a half-assed story concept, no plot outline and definitely no plan.
I’m still taking part because I feel like I should and at this stage it’s a tradition. If you can’t write a novel after the craziness of 2020 WHEN can you?
Are you taking part in NaNoWriMo? Let me know below.
I cannot believe it has been an entire month since I last posted. I’ve been busy with a Project Management module and now I can add Marketing Management and Digital Copywriting to my list of ever-growing certifications.
So while I didn’t really enjoy the studying this time (Covid=increased working hours+ less breaks+ less available study time), I was pretty sad when it ended. In fact it’s been two weeks and all I did was spring clean my room and watch two episodes of “Friends”. I’m pretty disappointed in myself but I figured after the year I had, I deserved a break.
I have scheduled a few book reviews and while I look for my next project, I’m going to focus on tackling that large bookshelf that somehow keeps growing. I swear I’m not buying books. I don’t know how they keep multiplying.
So in South Africa, we have been in Lockdown for about 4 months. While most of the city and businesses have opened, we are still technically not allowed to visit or spend time with family members.
Now I don’t know you or what your own rules are regarding the pandemic but here in South Africa, most people are breaking the rules.
If you are one of them or even if you aren’t, make sure that you are taking the time to keep in contact with your loved ones especially if they live alone.
While we have been assisting with doing shopping for both of my grans, once the spread increased, we stopped all contact so it’s been about a month or two since I’ve seen either of them.
Whether it’s a phone call, video call or a Whatsapp message, make sure you are checking on your family and making sure that they are okay during this trying time.
