There are no words to sufficiently describe my joy at this moment!

I FINALLY have a writing job. It’s unpaid but it’s remote and for a brand I strongly believe in. I have actually been trying to get this job for eight years so I am so excited to finally have the title of writer for this publication.

I don’t want to say any more because I am so scared I’ll jinx it but I just had to share!

After ten years of writing experience, two internships and six years of trying to get a writing job, I am super-thrilled for this next chapter.

If you ever told me I would have to go on a diet for health reasons, I would have accepted it. I knew my eating habits were bad and I would probably have to go on a meal plan at some stage. However I expected that to atleast be in my thirties.

So imagine my shock when my dermatologist suggested that I might be insulin-resistant. And the even bigger shock when I found out that yep, my insulin levels were high and I needed to cut out sugar and carbs.

You know how they say you don’t know how strong you really are? Yeah, well it’s been four weeks exactly and I’ve been doing relatively well. I have been having carbs now and again (maybe once or twice a week) but for the most part, I have been sticking to the meal plan.

I’m pretty excited to actually see some (really small) changes.

I cannot wait to see what the results look like in another 4 weeks.

Last week Saturday, my family and I received news that my dad was turned down for a job.

It was pretty startling since it was made to seem as if the job was 100% certain. The company made travel plans and accommodation arrangements for him. Now they were saying they thought it over and did not actual require a manager.

I dealt with this in a very mature fashion. I went to my bed and stayed there for half an hour.

I felt numb and in shock. Did I read the signs wrong? Why would you talk about travel and accommodation plans if you are NOT hiring? What on Earth had happened?

Finally once I was done moping I decided to reorganise my vanity cupboard and sort out my scarves for winter. I told myself this was fine. Sure, my dad didn’t have a new job but he still had his current job.

I knew the company he worked at was closing but that was in a few months So he just had to look for something within the next two to three months. No biggie.

The Tuesday after this, the company my dad worked at, sent out their official communication that they were closed.

It was like a very cruel prank. This was the one thing I was depending on.

Here’s the thing. I come from a family of three. As in me, my mother and my father.

My mother is medically boarded and I am still in pretty early stages of my career. Basically my father’s the main earner in the house. (Also can I just say how pathetic my story sounds? Boohoo my dad has no job and my mother has Lupus. I could cringe just thinking about it).

If there is one thing my epic magazine failure (yes, going to an interview and deeming the industry as dying is definitely an epic failure in my books) taught me, it is that you should cry. Cry a river if you feel like it would make you feel better. But after that, build a bridge and get over it.

The parents and I sat down. Drew up a budget. Inside, a part of me died. There is one thing we did not address in our family budget. One unspoken but very critical rule.

The shopping would need to stop.

I love shopping. It makes me feel better. I have a stressful job and shopping is my way of fixing it. Could I really give it up? (Spoiler Alert: It is really looking like I can).

So we decided on who would cut out which spending and replace it with paying an account. All was good.

Then my dad’s side job as a driver fell through. At this point I feel like I’m living in my own “A Series of Unfortunate Events”. It is kind of amusing though. Anything that can go wrong is going wrong

So why am I sharing this?

At some point in the distant or not too distant future, I want to look back at this and say “hey remember that time your dad lost his job and you had to change your spending habits? You say you couldn’t but you did!”

Or even “remember that time everything was going wrong and it was so bad it was funny? It will just be nice to look back and say “I made it. Even when I thought I couldn’t.

There has been several times when I was like “nope, I can”t do this. I will not do this” but I got through it fine.

Like my final of year of college when the campus was on fire and I had to skip classes because my Criminology module clashed with English. Then there was that time I was convinced I would never get a job because I was scared to speak on the phone (hello, I now work in a call center).

You never really know what you can and can’t do until you have actually tried to do it.

I found the below in my drafts and thought to share it. The below was a drafted blog post probably sometime in 2019. Why is this relevant? Because I remember t the excitement of getting called back for a Marketing or Editorial role. I also remember the sole-crushing disappointment whenever one of these roles didn’t work out. What I didn’t know at the time of writing was that just a year later, in 2020, I would get my first Marketing role. I would write copy and learn advertising. And eventually, I would go on to get my dream job.

By the time this post goes live I may or may not still be working in the call center (who am I kidding? I’m pretty sure I’ll never leave but anyway).

So it’s been a few months since the horrible dream job rejection. Since then I’ve applied for tons of jobs in my field. I have zero expectations of being hired. However these job applications were not going the way I would have expected.

Some are far more successful than others. Some have resulted in zero feedback. Some have resulted in rejection emails. And some have resulted in pretty positive responses.

Here’s the thing though. I didn’t expect to have any kind of response. I’ve been job hunting this entire year for something in my field and recently for anything with an increased income (unfortunately for my family, the company my dad worked at, has closed). I got zero responses. This last batch that has people responding to me has given me some little bit of hope.