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I found this really old post that I wrote waay back when and never published. I had just started working with a really toxic team leader and well…let’s just say that I didn’t know how to handle it:

So I’m typing this from work.

Work at 5:19PM where I should not be. Where I have already told my parents that I am not coming home. Honestly I do not remember my exact words. I just remember being consumed with anger and hate and so I wrote something to the effect of I will not be going home.

So I’m typing this from work in the hopes that eventually I am going to look back at this and laugh.

“Hey, Shanice. Remember when you had a crappy day at work and you decided not to go home because your parents wouldn’t let you quit your job.”

In the back of my mind, the rational responsible part of me is realising that I am probably creating a issue where they shouldn’t be. I cannot find it in me to care.

I have had the worst possible week in my life. We got a new manager at work. She is incompetent at best and at worst, she is hell personified. She expects ten million spreadsheets and she expects the impossible. She knows very little about the job- something that wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t for the fact that she is very fond of acting like she knows everything.

I keep saying how I can’t deal with stupid but this is another level. This is a woman who is controlling, demanding, unrealistic and rude. This is a woman that is slowly but surely driving me crazy.

So when she spoke down to me yesterday I begged my parents to let me leave. They refused.

Today I spent most of the day in meetings. One meeting with my ex-manager (who is now in a supervisory role for our team) where she clearly asked me what was going on with me. I denied her accusations that something had changed in me and that my work ethic was slowly but surely being eroded away.

The other meetings were with my new manager. One for her to go over the rules with us (gosh, years in this company and we don’t know the rules. Someone is obviously filled with her own self-importance). The other was for her to painstakingly go over every aspect of my job.

I discovered that I was missing parts of my work. That I didn’t update the system I used to(something I did because my new manager gave me spreadsheets to track the work). However after asking me if the spreadsheets were too much, she went ahead and gave me two additional ones (I swear that woman has something wrong with her).

So at half 4 as I was rounding off my work I realised I was the only one in the office. So I asked if I could go home since everyone else already did. Her reply was that I could go once the work was done.

“The work” was 30 callouts. 30 callouts that would have been done if not for her and her spreadsheets. When she asked me if I thought I “deserved to go home”, I snapped.

I went to the bathroom, crying and sent whatever message to my parents. I don’t even remember what. I just remember feeling the vindictive pleasure because yes, I will stay and do callouts. ALL 30 OF THEM. Lets see how the parents like not having a child at home.

I felt even better when I realised my parents had no way to contact my manager (both old and new). So I sat at my desk ready to prepare to work when my senior manager approached me with a phone. The look on her face told me everything. That phonecall was for me.

“Who?” I choked out, desperate not to start crying enough.

“Your delivery guy.” (This was an inside joke since I was always shopping online. I received deliveries so often that I was on a first name basis with most of the courier drivers).

I took the phone tentatively. “Hello?”

“Hi.”

The voice was of my friend, a co-worker who was off on maternity leave. With a sickeningly jolt, I remembered that my mother had her details. Damn me and my closeness with my mother.

“Hi,” I managed to spit out.

It felt like my throat was closing.

“Where are you?”

“At work.”

“What time are you leaving?”

“When I’m done,” a sob slipped out.

“I spoke to your mother.”

“I figured,” I said, struggling to swallow. In the back of my mind I thought of a coworker who, a few weeks earlier, had a very public panic attack and had to be hospitalised.

“What is going on?”

“Nothing.”

“She said you’re not going home.”

“I’m not.”

Now the tears came faster, accompanied by gasps of breath as I fought to control myself. My manager was two seats down.

What followed was possibly the worst ten minutes of my life. I struggled to speak through the tears while my manager watched from the corner of her seat. My friend, not knowing where she was, complained about her freely.

“I told you she’s a bitch. Don’t let her affect you. You need to go home. Promise me you’ll go home. You know its dangerous.”

I remained silent.

“Shanice, I mean it.”

“Fine.”

“Say you’re going home.”

“Alright fine.”

I stood in the corner hiccuping in silence, waiting to calm down. Once I was sure I had control of myself I handed the cellphone back to my senior manager before resuming my work. I had 30 callouts to do.

Typing that story only makes me sadder. I still do not feel like I should go home but honestly where else can I go?

I don’t remember too much of that day. I know it was October 5th. I know the senior manager managed to talk me into going home. But that day changed my perspective on my job and the company itself. When I returned to work the next week, I no longer cared about my job. Instead I focused on getting out of the department. I would go on to leave the business while my toxic manager ended up a department head. I cried when I heard that news. Among the staff it was no secret that she was awful. But since she was close to her manager, he was able to promote her when the opportunity arose.

I chalk alot of that horrible period in my life to a lack of working experience. I thought that because she was a bad manager, it would even come out and management would think of the staff first. I was wrong. But working with her was a catalyst for me deciding that was it and I would not tolerate such behaviour. The second a position opened up in a new team, I took it. And that changed my career for the better…for a while. Then I got another toxic manager and the pattern repeated itself. But it was okay- NOW I knew how to handle it!

I want to stop and take a little detour here. I mentioned that Janet’s promotion was a result of her being a favourite of the HOD, John. I mentioned a coworker who had an easier time because he also “networked” with the HOD. But let’s take a look at what happens when you don’t get along with the person who is in charge of your career.

Caitlyn was a smart girl who handled a chunk of irate customers. I can’t remember what her actual title was but she was always busy. She was also always ready to help others if necessary. Somehow word got out that Caitlyn wasn’t doing her job. So she was dismissed.

It was the kind of environment where news spread fast. So by the end of the week, everyone knew Caitlyn was being let go because she was wasting away time at work. She was regarded as an example to others to remind them what could happen to them.

Caitlyn was replaced by another worker from another team. A highly effective worker. Who struggled with the workload. When this worker had to go on maternity leave, she was replaced by 3 other employees…one of which was Caitlyn.

Yep, Caitlyn was invited back. It was never stated but at this point it was made clear that the reason why Caitlyn wasn’t “doing her work” was because there was too much work for just one person. Once there was a team of 3 people handling her responsibilities, things got easier.

When John moved to a different department, a few years later, he took Caitlyn with him as one of his senior staff.

Caitlyn’s story lives in a small corner of my mind as proof of what happens when management decides they want you out. Except she isn’t the only one.

A few years later, the business needed to cut costs and decided to remove one of their older staff, a skilled project manager. I was horrified. She had been with the company longer than I had. What was she going to do? (She started her own business and she is doing AMAZING!)

Again, I thought it was a one-time thing. But when the cycle repeated itself two years later resulting in retrenchments throughout the Customer Care space, I had to face facts. This was just business. I needed to remember that. But it is also something that you should remember as an employee the next time you want to make your job your everything.

Moral of the story: 1) Get on friendly terms with your manager but 2) NEVER depend on your day job. NEVER EVER EVER!

This next part of the story is something I have told a million times. But never so publicly and never to anyone who mattered. But it needs to be said. Welcome to the cracks in my perfect corporate world.

They said that the company was growing and because of that there would be “opportunities for growth.” Basically they would be hiring new managers. I was thrilled. I didn’t want to be a manager- I knew I was too early in my career for that but I loved the idea of people moving forward in their career (something that still excites me to this day). My friends warned me about my excitement. They were more experienced and explained that the new managers could be awful. I refused to believe that. Everyone was so nice.

In any case I knew who was going to manage us. It was going to be my friend, Aarti. Aarti had been with the company for over 5 years and she had worked on a variety of campaigns. It was a no-brainer. The other option would have been Samantha, someone who worked in the role of 2IC but had recently gotten pregnant. Samantha was 2IC for our team but she was eventually moved out to replace a less efficient coworker in another team. But that’s a story for another day.

Anyway it was time to announce managers and Aarti was meeting with our current manager. I waited impatiently for her to return with the good news. She returned. She had not been picked. No one from our team had been picked. This meant that whoever was going to manage us was going to be from another team.

They picked a lady named Janet. I was very confused. Janet was just sort of there. She wasn’t even a 2IC. How was she picked? But the decision was made and Janet’s trial run was in September. I felt bad for her. She was removed from the team that she had worked in for years and she was expected to run a team of strangers. And of this team of strangers, five of them had already applied for her job. In September they laid out the plans. Janet would run the smaller of the team. Namely me, my best friend and another girl who worked on the smaller campaigns. Two campaigns, three staff, one manager. No biggie right?

I spent the first month being helpful and friendly. Or so I thought. It quickly became clear that Janet did not expect to do work. She delegated everything to us- even the reports that she sent to the HOD. Previously I had managed the campaign pretty much by myself with minimal assistance. Janet wanted to oversee everything. Without doing any actual work. It didn’t take me long to figure out what was happening. Janet was another favourite of our HOD. It didn’t matter that she had zero experience. Corporate was a chess game and she played it correctly. As a coworker put it to me, Janet was now our problem whether we liked it or not.

There’s a saying I see posted pretty often on LinkedIn. It’s “In your job you should either learn or earn”.

That next year was going to teach me ALOT!

I was picked to run a new campaign. I say picked but basically the girl who was originally supposed to do it was moved to another team while the back-up girl that the HOD chose couldn’t do it because of some sort of red tape. The next choice was me. Honestly for someone who had been with the company for less than a year, it was a pretty big deal. All this just because I was the second fastest capturer.

If I was a little more cynical (the way I am now), I would have wondered if the role would have gone to the other capturer who was smart enough to befriend management (looking back, that is probably exactly how things would have went). Nonetheless, I was sent for training to be Sales Support for a loan campaign.

But I was young and naive and I didn’t expect my co-workers to turn on me. They were really discreet about the way they did it.

From the girl who was supposed to be the second choice for this campaign to the lady who working in the department for the longest time, everyone made snarky comments to me about how I couldn’t do the job because I was not used to speaking on the phone.

Eventually the pressure got to be too much for me and then I admitted to my manager that I thought that I wouldn’t be able to do the job. I felt like she didn’t hear me. She didn’t acknowledge what I said.

And then she spoke to someone from another team and asked them to make me do “Call-outs”.

“Call-outs” were simply calling customers to confirm their delivery address and availability. Key word being “call”.

I still remember the girl who sat with me and explained what I needed to do. She looked at me like I was stupid. Nothing against her. But the second she explained that I would need to dial out, my brain stopped working. I could only stare at her in horror.

For the next hour, I called strangers, willing them not to pick up the phone. Only 4 people answered the call. The rest went to voicemail. But it was terrifying for me to listen to the ringing and wait, hoping it would go to voicemail.

Fast forward a little while later, I was still in awe of Customer Care. So my manager moved me to them to learn how to answer emails, social media queries, Live Chat queries and eventually she had me assist with answering calls.

All this in the span of a single month (May).

The new campaign started at the end of July. But when I made my first call (with my manager and her manager standing behind me), I was perfectly comfortable.

It’s interesting that one of my greatest moments of growth stemmed from a bunch of people telling me that I couldn’t do something.

Lesson Learnt- DO NOT listen to others. Do what YOU feel is right. You know yourself best.

Getting a good night sleep is so so important. It affects your overall health and well-being both mentally and physically. Sleep is SO important to me that I even conducted my own little study to see how sleeping 8 hours a night affected me. Many people struggle to get enough sleep or even decent sleep. If you fall into this group, here are 7 things you can do to improve your sleep.

1. Stick to a Regular Sleep Schedule

This is no fun but this is one of the most important tips. Establish a consistent sleep schedule. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This will help regulate your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle and promote better sleep. Eventually your body will know when it’s time to sleep and you’ll be able to fall asleep (and stay asleep) easily.

2. Create a Bedtime Routine

Take a warm bath, read a book, or do some gentle stretches before bed to help your body relax and prepare for sleep. Avoid electronics, which emit blue light that can disrupt your body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep. One of my favourite ways to wind down for bed is reading for 30 minutes. That way I get to tackle my TBR AND get a good night’s rest.

3. Make Your Bedroom Sleep-Friendly

By this I mean, you should make sure that your bedroom is quiet, cool, and dark. Keep noise levels down, use blackout curtains or a sleep mask to block out light, and set the temperature to a cool, comfortable level.

4. Invest in a Comfortable Mattress and Pillows

Okay I am still in the process of locating a comfortable mattress but I had a coworker admit that once he invested a significant chunk of money in his mattress, it paid off for him immensely in the long run.

Your mattress and pillows can have a significant impact on the quality of your sleep. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows that support your body and help you maintain good posture while you sleep.

5. Limit Your Caffeine and Alcohol Intake

Caffeine and alcohol can interfere with your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Try to limit your intake of these substances, especially in the hours leading up to bedtime.

6. Exercise

Regular exercise can improve sleep quality and duration. However, it’s best to exercise earlier in the day rather than right before bed, as exercise can be energizing and make it harder to fall asleep. Experiment and see what works for you.

7. Manage Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety can make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. Manage your stress levels through relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. It is also helpful to write down your worries and feelings before bed so that you are able to clear your mind.

A good night sleep is essential for you to function at your best. By following these tips, you can improve the quality of your sleep.

The months after I was made permanent were pretty uneventful. I was made permanent in September. Had really bad burnout and had intense pressure in October. The other employees believed that around October onwards, management tried to get staff fired so that there was less competition for bonuses in December. I would later learn that ALL industries felt the slump that time of the year.

Anyway sometime around November, my manager got the idea in her head that she wanted “Plug and Play employees”. I didn’t understand what that meant but basically she wanted her team to have full working knowledge of the entire Customer Care department.

At the time it wasn’t uncommon for the different teams to step in and help each other. So for example, the Fulfilment team could work on the Customer Care inbound line or Customer Care could audit calls. More often than not, it was Fulfilment helping Customer Care Inbound and Quality Assurance helping Sales Admin (aka the data capturing team). My manager wanted to equip her staff to work in any department. So she divided the team into smaller teams and had people learn different skills. I was in awe and fascinated by Customer Care but I knew I could never speak on the phone. So when I was assigned to do data capturing for the Fufilment team, I agreed. My job was to activate simcards and I was great at it. I was incredibly fast on the computer and that showed in my activation numbers.

By the time, December rolled around, our team was doing activations, data capturing and even assisting on the Customer Care line. It was amazing and I am still so proud of what we accomplished. Towards the middle part of December, the Quality Assurance manager requested that we assist her with auditing calls which we did. Our team was doing all the things. Which was great because what we didn’t know was that the team was about to be dissolved.

The business had decided that they didn’t need a data capturing team and Sales agents should capture their own sales. Our team was split. Some people went back to the sales floor as verifiers while the rest were absorbed into other Customer Care departments.

I stayed in Activations because of my speed on the computer. I found this interesting because this speed was something that I learnt from years of playing on the computer. I used to pretend to be working in an office. I used to try to write. In fact I did write a novel at 12. And now instead of getting my dream job in Journalism, I was working in an office. Odd how things work out.

I was happy that I wasn’t leaving my team but I felt a tiny twinge of regret. Why hadn’t I asked to learn Customer Care? I was always amazed that these people could talk on the phone but I was too scared to ask for the opportunity to learn.

Looking back on this, it’s funny that I was so scared. 2022 Me would be scared and do it anyway. But I guess that’s growth.

If you’re new here, this is a pretty awful way to ease your way into my blog. “Welcome to the Real World” is a series detailing my early working years. The idea is to impart some wisdom and laugh at my mistakes.

You can find the full series here. However for a quick recap, I started my data capturing job and things were good. I was concerned about the fact that I was a temp on a 3 month contract but I worked really hard and I was sure that it would pay off. Let’s all laugh together.

I was young and had no clue that how hard I worked had nothing to do with my promotion. But I was about to. I was going to learn that lesson the hard way.

When I started in March, there were a few other temps. There was a man in his 30s, a girl who had just finished high school and a older female. The only person who worked at the same pace as me was the man in his 30s. However I started work at 7AM every day (my working hours were 8AM to 5PM). I felt like it could be seen that I was a hard worker. About a month or so after I joined, a guy around my age joined. He was able to keep up with my pace. But he did one thing I didn’t. He befriended the boss.

When it came time to renew our contracts, all of the people who started with me got their contracts extended for another 3 months. I was incredibly surprised when the same thing happened to me. I knew that I was faster than them. So why now were we given the same treatment?

When it came time to renew the contract of the guy who befriended the boss, he was made permanent immediately. I was furious. So I stopped working as hard as I did. I was called into countless meetings where management tried to figure out what the problem was. I replied with I didn’t understand what the problem was. I didn’t understand why now I was no longer as fast as the other guy.

But I knew what the problem was. I just didn’t know how to verbalize it. I didn’t know how to verbalize that I felt demotivated by what had happened.

Thing is, the working world is a game. Who you know matters more than what you know. I should have known that. After all, the main reason I got the job was because my aunt set me up with the interview.

The guy who was made permanent actually stole work from others (i.e everyone had an Excel spreadsheet assigned to them and he would go into these sheets, copy the information that he needed to capture and add it to his spreadsheet).

Management defended him and said he “took initiative”. I was shocked by I kept my head down and worked at my new, slower pace.

After my second round of 3 months, I was made permanent. A vacancy opened in a different department and the guy applied for it. He didn’t tell the manager who he befriended which brought me so much joy.

The manager had no choice but to let him go but he was not happy. The manager then came up with a new rule. If you’re applying for a job in another team or another department, you need to tell a manager.

I’m not sure what the point of this rule was but when the time came for me to leave, I made good use of that rule.

But that’s a story for another day.